lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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