Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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