apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
