omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
