I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
