I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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