I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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