I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
