she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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