So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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