Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
