so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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