you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
