I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
organizing the empties. That sober.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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