The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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