Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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