Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
