he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize