i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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