i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
