How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
did you just send me my own nude
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
