Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
