we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
