My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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