Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
