Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
