i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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