Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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