oh fat girl friday strikes again...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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