You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
