just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
