Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
