My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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