I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
