and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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