He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
