Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
