i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
