So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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