in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
