your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
