It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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