One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
