If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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