just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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