i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
