I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
