Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
