This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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