drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
