real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
