Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
