So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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